nut hugger
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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