Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me