Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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