apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
