Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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