Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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