So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
