tell your sister to shave her snatch
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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