I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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