Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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