I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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