i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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