Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
