It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
