I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
