I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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