guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
