smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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