The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
