But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
