are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
