he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
