carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
