I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
