Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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