so explain again why im purple
no
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
