Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
