when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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