he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
