i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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