i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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