We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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