Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize