I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
