I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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