I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.