No more Irish car bombs ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style