Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
