if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
