So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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