Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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