WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
