either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
