I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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