Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
