Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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