I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
