I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
