matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
