we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
