well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
