Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
