He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
