ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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