I accidentally burped into my bong.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
