Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
