I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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