Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
