So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you will always have a special place in my vag
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
