I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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