so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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