Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
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