I cockslap morals
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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