spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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