She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
