Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
