Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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