D3 body, D1 cock
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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